HUH!
by Cuppy
Summary: Ok...my first attempt at HumorHumor. Absolutely hilarious and it involvs Harry, Hermione, Draco and Ron, oh, and Hedwig!


Disclaimer: I own the bizarre plot, J.K. Rowling owns the well known characters!  
  
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"Hermione, you're hurting!" Harry squealed. He squealed because a pen had just fallen on his toe.  
  
"Oh, shut up Harry!" Hermione snapped. She snapped because she had been thinking about Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter and how the crocodiles nearly snapped him up all the time.  
  
"No, Hermione! You hurt!" he screamed. He screamed this time because he had been thinking about hitting Draco Malfoy.  
  
Hermione rested her hand on his half - waxed legs.  
  
"You know, Harry, I know some very good silencing spells..." she trailed off. She trailed off to freak Harry out.  
  
"You wouldn't!" he swore. He swore because she hurt him again.  
  
"If it shut you up I would!" Hermione said, sounding like an American. She probably sounded like an American because her father was part American and she had American cousins.  
  
"What are you two doing?" Ron yelled. He yelled because Ginny had humiliated him and his face was red.  
  
"You two have all the fun! Do it when I'm around!" he told them angrily. (I have nothing for this).  
  
"I don't want to do it with you around, Ron!" Harry called after his friend. He called because he didn't have a phone.  
  
That was when Draco Malfoy crossed the scene. When I say crossed, I mean literal because in his hand he had a can of spray paint.  
  
"Why are you spraying our house?" Ron asked.  
  
"I'm Head Boy. Can do what I like..." Draco smirked. He smirked because this was his copyright, his trademark.  
  
Hermione jumped up. She jumped because Harry had kicked her off.  
  
"Draco, have I told you how cute you were?" she said seductively. She said it seductively because she felt like saying it seductively.  
  
"No, tell me again!" he commanded. He commanded because he had been at Army school in the holidays.  
  
"Shoulda heard me the first time!" Hermione replied. She replied because she wasn't letting him win.  
  
Ron and Harry kicked Draco in the pants as he collapsed to the ground. He collapsed to the ground because not only had he gotten a kick in the pants but because he started losing blood from his nose from a sudden nose bleed.  
  
"I love you Hermione!" he cried. He cried because tears were in his eyes.  
  
He died. He died of internal bleeding from the kicking and because Voldemort had psychologically killed him when he had said that he loved Hermione.  
  
"NO!" Hermione cried. She also cried because tears were in her eyes.  
  
At that moment, Hedwig flew into the room, a knife attached to his foot. Hermione grabbed the knife, piercing her placid skin. She knelt next to Draco, her blood fusing with his.  
  
"For the course of true love never did run smooth," Harry commented. He commented because there was nothing else to say.  
  
"Alas, dust to dust, ashes to ashes, ferret to maiden," Ron replied. He replied because he needed to say something. Both bowed and walked out.  
  
"Where did you get that from?" they asked at the same time. They asked it at the same time because they were both thinking the same thing at the same time.  
  
"Book Dudley did for school," Harry said first. He said it first because he thought it was more logical.  
  
"I got mine from a funeral book," Ron replied. Harry looked at him.  
  
"Why do you need a funeral book?" he said suspiciously. Harry said it suspiciously because he was suspicious.  
  
"My brothers," Ron replied, as if that explained everything. Of course, to Harry, it didn't because there were about sixty boys that Ron knew and he had about 500 cousins. He nodded simply.  
  
"You hungry?" Ron asked. Harry nodded again.  
  
"It dinner?" Harry asked. Ron nodded.  
  
Both boys ran to the Great Hall to be first. They ran to be first because both boys were pigs and didn't want to miss out on anything.  
  
"Hermione hurt," Harry complained. He complained because Hermione had hurt him.  
  
"Yeah, well, waxing your leg is painful."  
  
"Never again," Harry said quietly.  
  
"Play chess?" Harry asked. Ron nodded.  
  
When the pair left...they both tripped over their laces that Peeves had tied together when they were eating because they were in a hurry to play chess because he thought it would be funny.  
  
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Authors Note: I know, it's bizarre. My first comic story and I hope it was ok. Please review and tell me what you think! 


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